Thursday, April 8, 2010
Do I Have Communications Problems????
Haiz, I feel like I'm in the well....as if I can't see the world anymore......Why do I feel like that? I asked myself......Maybe I'm too sensitive.....How? I really feel like I hide myself.....Din communicate with my friends oso....Everybody go college right now....Some starting college in May....But me...I dunno what I want anymore....I dunno who I am anymore......Should I go for consultant????? Maybe I should.....
Monday, December 14, 2009
My Genting Trip.....
So, Harry, Pui Teng, Kar Mun, Celine & Me went to genting last saturday which is the 12th and come back on monday, the 14th. So, The girls went to genting first cause Harry have things to do and he joined us later when we about to check in that day...... We didnt do anything special that day and its kinda boring. So we just walk around and lepak la.....But I cant sleep that night.....Always cant sleep when i went overnight in genting..... I stay up almost for whole night and we go to theme park at about 9 something......Then we play and have fun and stuff. I got the first place when we're playing go kart....WHEE.....so happy. That night Celine went back..... After that the 4 of us stay in the hotel room and rest for a while... Then we went for a movie, The Ninja Assasin....Like Kar Mun said......Its more like a "Ketchup Movie" every scene also got blood, blood and more blood. And then we go back and sleep....I sleep like a dead pig......The hext morning, we went back earlier than we plan to cause we all very very tired. That's the end for our genting trip but not for me......That very day we came back from genting, i went straight to sg wang with my mom......And then my dad called and said we're going to genting, again for me......And the 3 of us, My dad, mom and me went to genting........when we arrive we check in and my parents went to casino and I went to first world and walk around alone.....soooo lonely....Then I went back to the hotel, take a bath, play my laptop and then sleep......Then we wake up and went to a restaurant which i cant go in without my parents cause its a elite club, I have no idea what the freaken hell is that anyway......then we go back....Basically, we just go to genting tp speant the night there, for my parents who want to go to casino, and I went up and down the hill for twice in one day.....Stupid la.....
Friday, November 13, 2009
“Wake Up, Honey.” my grandma whispered to me. The sun shore so bright that almost stung my eyes. “Morning, nanny.” I greet my grandma. Grandma smile and went downstairs, I followed her. I was greeting by the sweet smell of pancakes and maple syrup and without asking, I sat down and dug in. After having the breakfast, I went upstairs, took a shower and change into new clothes. Today’s my fifth day here, my mom busy setting the annulment with my dad and soon they will divorce. I forced myself not to think and went downstairs and join my grandma.
“Hi, nanny.” I greet her. She said nothing, just another smile. We spent our afternoon cleaning the house and then have a nap. I went looking for my grandma when I wake up; she’s looking at the photo hanging on her bedroom next to the mirror. That’s a photo of a man but not my grandpa. “Whose that?” I asked her. “His first boyfriend.” She answered. “Really, how many boyfriend do you have, grandma?” I asked. “Two, his first and your grandpa are the second.” She said. “Oh, so how come you din marry this man?” I asked again, out of curiosity. “You sound interested in my story, dear.” She said, just a statement. “Yeah, I am.” I admitted. “Alright, come sit here.” She said.
Both of us sat on the couch, my grandma holding the photo and said “His name is Jace, his sixteen when I first met him and I was only fourteen. I was living with my parents, your great grandparents; he came to our house as a guest of my father. My father likes him a lot, he, unlike the others man his age, is much more mature and determine. He spent almost a year in our house but my father never tell either me or my mother why his staying so long. During that time, he always talk to me, sometimes we will go to the river side or the water fall and talk about nothing, sometimes he’ll tease me or make me laugh. Within that year, we had fallen in love with each other. You can imagine how two teenagers were when they fall in love.
We were engaged when I was eighteen and his nineteen, he always visit me. But one day, he came to my house with a news that his going to follow his father’s footsteps and he have to go to Europe to do so. He said that he’ll come back once a year and he promised me that he’ll marry me once he success his father’s business. Of course, I am quite sad but I still let him go.
While his in Europe, we only communicated with letters , he sent five letters a week, five days, its just like his diary, writing about us and his feeling or about missing me.” My grandma showed me the letters in three big boxes, that old letter, some even torn apart. “We always sent letters to each other until one week, I didn’t get any letters and I started worry about him. It’s been months, then winter to summer, I never received any single of his letter. One day, a guest came to house, his an old man. Later I get to know that his Jace father, he brought me a stack of letters and give me the news that Jace had died. I couldn’t accept the fact that his dead. I was very self-destructive at that time and it’s been few months seen then.
Until one day, your grandpa came he said that he saw me sitting here and doing nothing, I shouted at him, but instead of getting angry, he laugh at me. He said that I was very cute, unlike other people, he can see through my toughness when I pretend to be. Since then, he always came over and entertained me, sometimes even teased me. I got better and better. And we are engaged and going to marry soon. Then one day, I open the last stack of letters that Jace gave it to me and read it. Surprisingly, I did not cry instead I laugh at myself for nothing. Then I said to myself ‘I know I have left my heart behind.’
“Hi, nanny.” I greet her. She said nothing, just another smile. We spent our afternoon cleaning the house and then have a nap. I went looking for my grandma when I wake up; she’s looking at the photo hanging on her bedroom next to the mirror. That’s a photo of a man but not my grandpa. “Whose that?” I asked her. “His first boyfriend.” She answered. “Really, how many boyfriend do you have, grandma?” I asked. “Two, his first and your grandpa are the second.” She said. “Oh, so how come you din marry this man?” I asked again, out of curiosity. “You sound interested in my story, dear.” She said, just a statement. “Yeah, I am.” I admitted. “Alright, come sit here.” She said.
Both of us sat on the couch, my grandma holding the photo and said “His name is Jace, his sixteen when I first met him and I was only fourteen. I was living with my parents, your great grandparents; he came to our house as a guest of my father. My father likes him a lot, he, unlike the others man his age, is much more mature and determine. He spent almost a year in our house but my father never tell either me or my mother why his staying so long. During that time, he always talk to me, sometimes we will go to the river side or the water fall and talk about nothing, sometimes he’ll tease me or make me laugh. Within that year, we had fallen in love with each other. You can imagine how two teenagers were when they fall in love.
We were engaged when I was eighteen and his nineteen, he always visit me. But one day, he came to my house with a news that his going to follow his father’s footsteps and he have to go to Europe to do so. He said that he’ll come back once a year and he promised me that he’ll marry me once he success his father’s business. Of course, I am quite sad but I still let him go.
While his in Europe, we only communicated with letters , he sent five letters a week, five days, its just like his diary, writing about us and his feeling or about missing me.” My grandma showed me the letters in three big boxes, that old letter, some even torn apart. “We always sent letters to each other until one week, I didn’t get any letters and I started worry about him. It’s been months, then winter to summer, I never received any single of his letter. One day, a guest came to house, his an old man. Later I get to know that his Jace father, he brought me a stack of letters and give me the news that Jace had died. I couldn’t accept the fact that his dead. I was very self-destructive at that time and it’s been few months seen then.
Until one day, your grandpa came he said that he saw me sitting here and doing nothing, I shouted at him, but instead of getting angry, he laugh at me. He said that I was very cute, unlike other people, he can see through my toughness when I pretend to be. Since then, he always came over and entertained me, sometimes even teased me. I got better and better. And we are engaged and going to marry soon. Then one day, I open the last stack of letters that Jace gave it to me and read it. Surprisingly, I did not cry instead I laugh at myself for nothing. Then I said to myself ‘I know I have left my heart behind.’
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Maybe.....I am just not the right friend that you need......
Even though we're just sitting side by side,
but its like you're few miles away from me,
can't see me,
hear me,
or listen to me.
I feel like we don't belong together,
its like I'm just a statue sitting beside you,
I'm nothing but a miserable statue that made you miserable......
Am I ?
Well, I'm sorry if I ever made you angry,
maybe I am just not the right friend.....
but its like you're few miles away from me,
can't see me,
hear me,
or listen to me.
I feel like we don't belong together,
its like I'm just a statue sitting beside you,
I'm nothing but a miserable statue that made you miserable......
Am I ?
Well, I'm sorry if I ever made you angry,
maybe I am just not the right friend.....
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Its Just A Essay............Take A Look........
Its was a cool morning. The wind was blowing softly across the fields while Beth walks alone. This is the third morning she walks alone in this field. Its not like there's nobody care for her, its just that she wanted to be alone. She's on a trip with her new friends. Her friends are really nice and friendly. Urgh, its so cool in Canada, Beth think. She still didn't used to the cold weather in Canada. Its so different from Malaysia that is always either hot sun or rainny day, that's it. Beth choose to sit on the biggest rock in the side of the field. She could see her friends playing basketball and some of her girlfriend watching them playing while giggling like a child.
Watching her friends, Beth thinks back when she's in Malaysia. Days are like hell to her. She remembers that day when she went to Times Square to meet her friends but she did not made it because someone dragged her into a van. She remember that day very well, every single things that happened. She's scare and everywhere was so dark that she can't even see her own fingers. She screamed for help many times but there was no respond, not even a sound, its pin drop silence.Then something or someone hit her, she's not sure. The next thing she know was she's wearing nothing, she's naked, just a blanket covered her birthday suit. Panic hit her, she searched for her clothes in the dark but found nothing.
Suddenly, a hand grabbed her waist and she struggled to freed herself but failed.Instead, she was laid on the floor. Was I raped? Beth asked herself but no where of her body part was in pain. She remember that her teacher had told her that its really painful for a girl's first time. Then the hand touched her again, this time her breast. Beth started to scream for help when the other hand cup her mouth and the man said "Shut up or I'll kill you." Beth was really scared. Then there was a third hand grabbing her thigh. How many of them are there? Beth asked herself. "Oh my god, she have quite a good body. I can't wait to taste." Another man said. There are two of them, Beth thinked. Beth screamed when the hand touched her nipple. Then all she remember was the touched of the dirty hand every part of her body and the next thing she knew, she's screaming in pain. her thigh was really in pain. "Shut up, you bitch. Hey, its my turn." one of the man said.
Its been days, maybe weeks since Beth got kidnapped and raped, not only by one man but a few men. Everytime they touched them, tears rolled across her cheek and the pain hit her again and again. She was in pain, she hated the touch of these filthy dirty men. She wondered what her parents were doing, did they report to the police? Are they worried about her? she asked herself. She didn't know, all she can do was nothing. She can't even protect herself, she thought.
Then one day, she heard the sound of a car, She was hide in the dark for almost a month. She know how these men worked and when they came for her. She tried to tie the blanket around her and tied a knot. Then she found a hole, just a small hole. Suddenly, she heard the sound of the door being bang and a few unfamiliar men run in and started to said "Freeze, police." again and again. But she knew the men already left the house yesterday morning, all of them. Beth was rescued but she didn't want to face the world. She went back to her normal life, but life wasn't always perfect like before, a lot had changed. Everyone talking behind her back, calling her names at her school. Even her best friend did that to her. She's very sad and felt lonely. That's when the decision to go to Canada hitted her.
"Hey, Beth, come on. We are going for breakfast." Suki called. But now, nothing like that happen anymore. Her new friends knew about her past but open their hands to her. These are her true friends. "Okay, coming." Beth reply loudly. Beth knew that she need to move on her life and she will do it with her true friends. Friends who really love who she is, no matter what happen to her. "These are my bestfriend, true friends." Beth said to herself.
Watching her friends, Beth thinks back when she's in Malaysia. Days are like hell to her. She remembers that day when she went to Times Square to meet her friends but she did not made it because someone dragged her into a van. She remember that day very well, every single things that happened. She's scare and everywhere was so dark that she can't even see her own fingers. She screamed for help many times but there was no respond, not even a sound, its pin drop silence.Then something or someone hit her, she's not sure. The next thing she know was she's wearing nothing, she's naked, just a blanket covered her birthday suit. Panic hit her, she searched for her clothes in the dark but found nothing.
Suddenly, a hand grabbed her waist and she struggled to freed herself but failed.Instead, she was laid on the floor. Was I raped? Beth asked herself but no where of her body part was in pain. She remember that her teacher had told her that its really painful for a girl's first time. Then the hand touched her again, this time her breast. Beth started to scream for help when the other hand cup her mouth and the man said "Shut up or I'll kill you." Beth was really scared. Then there was a third hand grabbing her thigh. How many of them are there? Beth asked herself. "Oh my god, she have quite a good body. I can't wait to taste." Another man said. There are two of them, Beth thinked. Beth screamed when the hand touched her nipple. Then all she remember was the touched of the dirty hand every part of her body and the next thing she knew, she's screaming in pain. her thigh was really in pain. "Shut up, you bitch. Hey, its my turn." one of the man said.
Its been days, maybe weeks since Beth got kidnapped and raped, not only by one man but a few men. Everytime they touched them, tears rolled across her cheek and the pain hit her again and again. She was in pain, she hated the touch of these filthy dirty men. She wondered what her parents were doing, did they report to the police? Are they worried about her? she asked herself. She didn't know, all she can do was nothing. She can't even protect herself, she thought.
Then one day, she heard the sound of a car, She was hide in the dark for almost a month. She know how these men worked and when they came for her. She tried to tie the blanket around her and tied a knot. Then she found a hole, just a small hole. Suddenly, she heard the sound of the door being bang and a few unfamiliar men run in and started to said "Freeze, police." again and again. But she knew the men already left the house yesterday morning, all of them. Beth was rescued but she didn't want to face the world. She went back to her normal life, but life wasn't always perfect like before, a lot had changed. Everyone talking behind her back, calling her names at her school. Even her best friend did that to her. She's very sad and felt lonely. That's when the decision to go to Canada hitted her.
"Hey, Beth, come on. We are going for breakfast." Suki called. But now, nothing like that happen anymore. Her new friends knew about her past but open their hands to her. These are her true friends. "Okay, coming." Beth reply loudly. Beth knew that she need to move on her life and she will do it with her true friends. Friends who really love who she is, no matter what happen to her. "These are my bestfriend, true friends." Beth said to herself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)